“Everyone, thank you.”
“When I wake up in the morning, a pure white curtain of lace is rustling in the breeze. The cuckoo clock in the room says it’s 7 o’clock, and Mom’s voice says, “You’ll be late if you don’t get up!”.”
“I’m still half asleep, and I think, “Please let me sleep for 3 more minutes.” I’m late for school every single day like clockwork, my teacher makes me stand out in the hallway, and I get failing grades on my tests.”
“The crepes we’d eat on the way home. We’d gaze dreamily at a party dress in a show window. The little things bring such joy, and I’m happy.”
“I wish…I wish I could go back to that kind of normal life. I want to go back.”
The effects of the incident last much longer for the abused woman, of course, and pretty soon the abuser may be snapping at her: “What, aren’t you over that yet? Don’t dwell on it, for crying out loud. Let’s put it behind us and move forward.” His attitude is: “I’m over it, so why isn’t she?”
Genuine remorse and theatricality are not mutually exclusive. Most abusers are truly sorry - though perhaps largely for themselves…
Remorse usually tends to decline as abusive incidents pile up. The genuine aspect fades as the abusive man grows accustomed to acting abusively and tuning out his partner’s hurt feelings. The theatrical part fades as he becomes less concerned about losing the relationship, confident now that she is fully under his control and won’t leave him.
The salient point about remorse, however, is that it matters little whether it is genuine or not. [Abusive men in an abuser program] who get very sorry after acts of abuse change at about the same rate as the ones who don’t. The most regretful are sometimes the most self-centered, lamenting about all the injury they’ve done to their own self image. They feel ashamed of having behaved like cruel dictators and want to revert quickly to the role of benign dictators, as if that somehow makes them much better people.
|—||Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (via seebster)|
stop the phrase “tattle-tale”. stop indirectly telling kids that if they speak up about someone that’s bothering them, they’re doing something bad. stop contributing to the culture of abuse.
"Tattle tale" isn’t someone bothering you, it’s kids ratting out…
As someone who spends summers teaching little kids, the above is totally true. Kids will tattle for any little thing to find favor with the adult in charge. It’s very different when we’re talking “Kendall sat in the green chair for TWELVE minutes when mom told us to take TEN minute turns, I counted” vs. “my older cousin won’t stop kicking me and my sister under the table, and he’s hogging the markers you gave us to use”
You know what I like, and feel is so important? That he doesn’t say “Men thinks those are THEIR positions”. He says “We think those are OUR positions.”
As a male feminist, he still doesn’t exclude himself from the group of men.
Oh my god do you know what this means. This means manga-accurate portrayal of black lady. THIS MEANS MANGA PLUTO. I AM IMPLODING
The lovely @SailorStardust0 on twitter informed me earlier today of this news! Sailor Moon Crystal will in fact include the Black Moon Arc as a part of the 26 episodes - following the manga acts act-by-act. You can read a translation here of an excerpt from Kobayashi’s interview in the Sailor Moon Crystal Official Visual Book (Mook) translated by Nagisayuu.
I’ll be posting my own personal thoughts on all of this at a later time (busy with grad school stuff), but I definitely wanted everyone to know about this!!!
Lea Grover, "This Is What Sex-Positive Parenting Really Looks Like," HuffPosts: Parents (29 July 2014)
The last sentence!!
Feminism had a noble cause for equality until it became a hate movement .
People have been accusing feminism of being a hate movement since women started trying to get the right to vote.
YUP! Remember this when people say feminism has gone too far! Because treating women as full human beings has always been seen as “going too far”.
I’ve been laughing for 7 thousand years
Get ready to be disappointed by your religious fetishization of physical intimacy!!! U kids are gonna have a wild time
|—||Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft (via thechocolatebrigade)|